I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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