he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I could fuck to npr.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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