hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There r osticjed everywhere
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize