"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
