We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you made out with another girl for some wings
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
