You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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