My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
