dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
