bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it's like iHOP with fire
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
