it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
