Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
