bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
