I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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