Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
