I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
