Banned from zoo.
Again?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
