My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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