First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
