i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
