You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
