Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
