She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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