ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize