Already got asked if we're dating
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
