how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
