I hate your face
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
