gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
