JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
