I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
