Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
