ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
