i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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