i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize