Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
