I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
