They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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