So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
