this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this will be a night to untag.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize