I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
