So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
