Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
