So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
