You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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