fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
