I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize