u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
