I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
