So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
