she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
