3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
