First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
