Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
