im holly from the hills drunk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
