just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize