GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
