this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so let's talk penis.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
