After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
