wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize