Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize