Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
40s are totally the cure
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
