In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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