just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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