I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
