I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
