I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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