goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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