"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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