I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
