hell yes lets make some ravioli
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
