did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
