We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
