:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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