Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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