If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
