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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

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• (916): View more from California

  We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Did you drink ALL that 151??

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN

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