I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize