There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
