Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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