you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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