Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
