I just saw a hot homeless man
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
